3 KEY TIPS TO HELP YOU DEAL WITH UNSOLICITED ADVICE
Unsolicited advice otherwise known as unwanted advice happens pretty frequently during everyday communication. It often can result in stressful or hurtful conversations with colleagues, friends, and even family. Unsolicited advice can leave you questioning your own ability to make good decisions and might end up delaying a well thought out plan unnecessarily.
I discovered at a young age that I would frequently be on the receiving end of unsolicited advice. I was laid back, easy-going and supportive, and soon I began to think maybe these qualities were reflective of someone who often needed advice. I was calm and very decisive but never felt like explaining my choices to others since I knew it eventually would lead to the “battle of opinions”. As I got older I realized two very important things about getting unsolicited advice, 1- I hated it and 2- Most people had no clue what they were advising on they just pretend (usually by speaking loudly) and this changed the way that I viewed unsolicited advice to date. Below are my 3 key tips to help with unwanted advice
Evaluate The Adviser
You can evaluate the adviser by asking yourself these quick questions -
Does this person know enough about the subject at hand to give advice?
Do you know enough about this person or does this person know enough about you in order for advice to be exchanged?
Could this person have an ulterior motive?
If they pass the evaluation please feel free to give a listening ear, but If the person offering the advice fails the evaluation, there is no need to process the given information.
2. Don’t take things personally
Not taking the advice personally can help you to remove your emotions from the facts.
Many times advice is given by people who simply wish to establish control over a situation, sometimes this advice is not genuine and is being used as a tool. By not taking it personally you can escape the trap. If you believe that you are in this scenario just give no response at all.
Sometimes people give unsolicited advice because they are drawing parallel lines with something that occurred in their lives and they unknowingly project their own personal feelings/experience unto you. Do not allow someone else’s feelings and thoughts to become your own, always take time to create your own opinion.
3. Make Your Escape
Speak up, be blunt, and let the unsolicited adviser know that you are not in need of advice.
or
Agree and move forward. While this isn’t the best method it is very effective. Giving a head nod then changing the subject will stroke the adviser’s ego but will also allow a smooth transition for your escape.
I think at some point in life we have all received unsolicited advice, sometimes it’s bad advice, sometimes it is hurtful advice and sometimes its even good advice being delivered in a bad way. Learning how to process unwanted advice is crucial as we attempt to create boundaries and protect our mental health. Don’t be afraid to stand up for yourself.
Thank you for making it to the end!
