Accepting who you are and owning it
Change is a natural and constant part of our growth process. Sometimes our change will be organic and will come from within us, other times change will be caused by external factors. Being able to identify our changes will help greatly with figuring out what to do about them.
A great way to begin this is to identify your Pros. Your Pros can also be described as your strengths, if you are not sure what your strengths are, just think of things that you are good at (no matter how small they may be) or even great features that you have that you think allows you to stand out from everyone else in a positive manner. Always starting with the most positive detail is super important to begin any task. After you have identified these Pros, spend some time reflecting on these qualities every day.
Identifying your weakness or your Cons can be tricky and difficult. The first step is to know that you will not make things worse by highlighting issues that need improvement; this process is actually more exciting than identifying your strengths because this is where the most growth and change occur. After you have highlighted the cons just ask yourself, how can I be better? You can take one weakness at a time and address it. For example I sometimes need to put extra effort on staying close and reaching out to family, I also would like to work on my public speaking skills and my time management skills. You don’t have to try to work on these all at the same time, it’s easy for us to feel overwhelmed and eventually give up since mental/emotional tasks can be draining so take your time.
I recently gained a few extra lbs and was completely obsessing over the summer that was rapidly approaching, I had so many cons on my list that everything was overwhelming and nothing was happening, no movements, no improvements, no acceptance, just me thinking to myself how bad things had gotten (very overdramatic I know) and I had to hurry to find ways to try to “not feel bad” anymore meaning - snacks, snacks and more snacks and this made everything worse. There is nothing worse than having issues then going on "autopilot" with a blind eye hoping they will go away.
The best way to address your weaknesses is to separate them, this takes away their power, and you can then address each one individually. I had to decide that even though summer is here and I haven’t lost one pound that it was ok. I bought new clothes that fit my new body and tried to remain positive (hard). What I notice about most people that gain weight is that they refuse to buy new clothes; it’s almost like they are punishing themselves for gaining weight. It shouldn’t be like that, dress your body comfortably and well; this will give your confidence a small boost, and keep you from feeling uncomfortable and feeling sorry for yourself all darn day.
The way that you address yourself in your "sad time" is very important. PLEASE NOTE – you will not help yourself by letting yourself off the hook when you have failed at anything however, you will not degrade yourself, be disappointed in yourself (for too long) or go fishing for old bad and sad memories of disappointment to maximize your sorrow, No way. Do not punish yourself repeatedly for ONE mistake forgive yourself, then move on.
Accept your cons, accept that you are not perfect then get on with your improvements. You will speak to yourself as you would speak to someone you love when they make mistakes. You will be firm, yet compassionate. Remember that we live in a world that can be harsh sometimes and people can be SUPER inconsiderate, the last thing we need is for the world to be rough on us then we reiterate the same idea upon ourselves as soon as we have the chance.
If you follow the 3P’s you will be ok.
“Positive vibes, Positive mind, Positive Life” - This does not mean you will not encounter negativity and Cons within yourself or your life, it just means that when you do, this is a way back to positivity and self-love. Continue to take care of yourself; Accept yourself, then love will follow.